My beloved pervs, if there’s one skill I wish I could learn whilst in lockdown it would be how to give myself head. Oral sex is utterly sublime whether it’s a quick snack, a side dish or the whole damn meal. One of the things I love most about oral sex is the opportunity to occupy either the role of giving or receiving in their totality. You can devote your whole attention on receiving or on giving. With full focus and connection I’ve been able to orgasm from the pleasure of giving head, though not quite as easily or abundantly as I orgasm when I’m receiving head.
Giving head is not a skill that we’re born with and even when you learn how to get one person off doesn’t mean it’s going to be good for the next person, or for the same person on a different occasion. Magazine articles advising people to spell the alphabet on people’s clits with your tongue, though fun to try, are way less helpful than learning to actually communicating what you want.
It can be great to begin sex by letting your partner(s) know that you welcome communication during sex. Even with that caveat it can be hard to find the right words during sex without killing the mood. Receiving oral is a great time to practice asking for exactly what you want, whilst giving is a great time to practice listening and doing exactly what your partner asks for.
I’ve often been giving head and craving more feedback to ensure it’s the best it can be. I’ve also found when I’m getting my pussy eaten that when I just moan my pleasure it can cause people to go harder and faster just when I want them to keep doing exaaactly what they’ve been doing. Bluntly telling someone they’re doing it wrong can deflate their enthusiasm, which benefits no one. So I devised strategic dirty talk phrases that are explicit directions to my O town. I highly recommend figuring out the actions you most often want someone to do during oral, whatever junk you have, and translating them into encouraging but specific dirty talk. For example…
Want them to slow right down? “Tease me, I want you to make me beg for it before you give it to me”
A broad flat tongue, consistently stroking upwards? “lick me like I’m a melting lollypop” or “lick me like a thirsty dog” works well here too
A bit of alphabet tip of the tongue tickling but not the whole damn thing? “Spell FILTHY SLUT on my clit with your tongue”
Don’t want them to change a thing? “You’re so good, you know exactly how to make me cum, pleeeease don’t change a thing”
You get the idea? Experiment with strategic dirty talk that feels comfortable for you to say and whip it out next time some delightful human has their lips locked on your lovely bits. Communication during sex is a skill that takes practice, just like anything else, but the more you flex it the better the results. And if lots of oral sex just the way you like it isn’t a good incentive to practice, I don’t know what is.
