Peaches suggestion to “fuck the pain away” is some of the best advice ever put into song form. Orgasm is medicine and the oxytocin released is a powerful antidote to stress and painful emotions. So here we are in a pandemic, locked in our homes, loosing our jobs and our minds. Comfort is sorely needed. If you’re single, like myself, the only responsible option is fucking your own pain away.
In my mid-twenties whilst my heart was still prone to breaking, relationships were tumultuous and my libido was voracious, I discovered that a crank (cry+wank) orgasm could turn a very bleak outlook into a significantly more positive one. Over the last 15 years since then I have grown and expanded this practice in several ways. I have used the strategy to soothe my pain and despair over such things as betrayal, heartbreak, grief, failure and the election of Tony Abbot.
Orgasm and pleasure are the key tools in my stress, depression and anxiety nurturing arsenal, but not just any orgasm. Whilst staring at my favourite porn and jerking off on autopilot can be lots of fun once in a while, as can hammering my clit into multi-orgasmic submission with a vibrator, neither gets me the most reduction in emotional pain, depression and stress. If I use orgasm to try and escape, suppress and avoid my painful emotions it doesn’t have as much benefit as when I use my self pleasure and orgasm to allow and release my painful emotions. The emotions we deny and suppress often fester and become bitter and toxic. Allowing painful feelings to flow freely mingled with my sexual pleasure leads to an emotional catharsis that has far more lasting benefits on my mental and physical health.
The emotions I most often bring to this erotic catharsis are sadness and anger, though I’m now starting to explore fear and anxiety as well. The trick, I find, is not to think about the painful feelings or the stories you’ve attached to them, that just leads me to a busy head and cuts off my capacity for pleasure. I simply allow the feeling itself to be there, the bodily sensation of it, without inhibition or judgement. To quiet the sad stories and/or negative thoughts in my head I focus my mind on slow deep breaths and the sensation of my self touch.
Without turning away from the pain, but turning into it, I slowly increase my self touch and movement to arouse erotic sensations. I love to sensually touch and explore my face, lips, mouth, tongue, my neck, my breasts, nipples, sternum, belly, pelvis, inner thighs, my cunt, buttocks and anus too. To stay connected emotionally I often express the feeling with sound on the exhale breath, which can range from screaming rage (into a pillow if you’re concerned about sound), to sobs, to heart weary sighs. If I do cry I don’t wipe away the tears, an act of suppression, but allow them to roll freely over my skin too.
Music, of course, can be extremely helpful too. I would steer away from songs you directly associate with the specific story of what pains you. I try to select music that invokes the feeling but not the story.
I wish you cranks of comfort and cartharsis in these times of struggle, my beloved pervs.